Anorgasmia psychosomatics
Anorgasmia is when a woman doesn't have orgasms, or has them very rarely, even though she wants intimacy and feels aroused.
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What psychosomatics says
In psychosomatics, anorgasmia is linked to a ban on pleasure. “Good girls don't do that.” “Sex is dirty.” “Pleasure has to be earned.”
Other causes are fear of losing control, shame about your body, a bad experience in the past. Sometimes it's a wish to be somewhere else, with someone else.
Psychosomatics helps you find where you forbid yourself joy, and take that right back.
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What it is
Many women face this. According to the MSD Manual, about one in ten women never has an orgasm, and some of them are still happy with their sex life. And during vaginal sex, fewer than half of women regularly have an orgasm.
Most often the cause isn't in the body. Fatigue, stress, your relationship with your partner, not knowing enough about your own body and fears all play a part. Sometimes the cause is medication, such as antidepressants, hormonal problems or conditions of the nervous system.
Doctors speak of anorgasmia when orgasm is absent, rare, weak or very delayed almost every time you're intimate, this lasts at least 6 months, and it upsets the woman.
Anorgasmia is treated by a gynecologist and a sex therapist. Talking with your partner and getting to know your body help.
How it shows up
- Orgasm never happens or has become rare
- Intimacy doesn't bring pleasure
- Tension and distracting thoughts during intimacy
A gynecologist and a sex therapist can help.
Frequently asked questions
Is anorgasmia psychological?
Often, but not always. Orgasm can be affected by medications, such as antidepressants, by hormones, illness and pain. That's why you start with a gynecologist and a sex therapist, while psychosomatics looks at bans, shame and the fear of losing control.
What is the psychosomatic meaning of anorgasmia?
Anorgasmia is linked to a ban on pleasure: “good girls don't do that”, “pleasure has to be earned”. Other causes are shame about your body, a bad experience in the past, a wish to be with someone else.
Is something wrong with me if I can't orgasm?
No. Many women rarely reach orgasm from penetration alone, and that's normal. People just rarely talk about trouble with orgasm, even though it's common.
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Psychosomatics does not replace tests and treatment. Only a doctor can make a diagnosis.